One day, when I was the second company sergeant major, I stayed on base for the weekend with that second company commander I told you about, he was a great guy, it was fun. He said to me after dinner, “Come on an arrest with me, nothing serious". I have to remember his name. It's a crap village that gets treated like crap. He says to me, “Come with me, it’s just [arresting] a17-year-old kid.” I said to him, “I'll go with you, I don't have anything to do.” We go with the second company commander’s front command jeep into the house, take the kid out. He says “Trash the house,” everyone turns the house inside out.

Why?No reason. We trash the house, take him, shackled and blindfolded, put in him in the front command jeep, he sits on the radio, we start driving one after the other, we led and the deputy battalion commander was behind us. All of a sudden the kid throws up. I was sitting next to him and he threw up on my foot, it smelled so bad I wanted to die, I lost my self-control. I told the deputy company commander to stop the vehicle now. He was laughing his head off. We stopped, I grabbed the kid, he's shackled, I threw him down just like that onto the gravel, at least three meters from the jeep, behind. We took out all the ice boxes that were in there and started cleaning and I was pissed off. I grabbed his back and pulled the plastic cable ties on his hands, I grabbed his head and took him back to the jeep, I pushed his head into the two-way radio, just because, because of the vomit, no reason. It’s this thing that you can – it’s a feeling of power, you have a weapon, you have power in your hands.

When did you understand these things?Only afterwards. Only after you do it. You say to yourself, “Why did I have to do that?”

How long afterwards?After a few hours, after the guys had their post-mission meal, you eat, you start talking to yourself “What's up with you? Why did that happen?”

Then you stopped?You usually start digesting all your army service only after it's over, after you’ve been out for at least a year.