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Text testimonies It's shitty to live in fear
catalog number: 513635
Unit: Sachlav Unit
Area: Hebron
period: 2000 - 2002
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It's shitty to live in fear
Unit: Sachlav Unit
Area: Hebron
period: 2000 - 2002

One thing that you take with you from your time there. One thing? I don't know, I don’t have one thing. It's shitty to live in fear. That was the most… I really saw that. I saw people who were afraid.

Of you? Of me? Yes, a bit as well. Of me, too. When I call someone over, just to call someone over, like, "come", because you know, you have to check, because you do have to check who the people are passing there in the street, yes, there are all sorts of incidents there, all sorts of stuff. So even when I called up someone to talk to them, to check their ID, just in order to prevent friction, because I see some shitty Jew approaching. Only to move him [the Palestinian] out of his way. Come here, stand here next to me, sort of pointing to where he should stand. Really just because I see this nasty person who’s now walking down that path, and I really have to move this Arab from his path. And you see the Arab go: "yes, yes, what, what, no, I don’t have anything, what." Like, in fear. Why would a soldier call you aside if he isn’t going to be a piece of shit? If he doesn't think you've done something wrong? I think it was really their way of thinking, too. Why would they call me over if I didn't do something wrong? They would immediately say: "nothing, nothing, I didn't do anything." Or there were those who didn't speak Hebrew, and all the other soldiers would lash out at me, like, "Do you really believe that he doesn't know Hebrew? Everyone here knows Hebrew, they can teach you and me both." And I, every time someone didn't know Hebrew, I would try to communicate with them like this or like that, until everyone was really on my case all the time, like, "What did you think, that there's someone here who doesn't know Hebrew? They all know Hebrew." And the sad thing is that it really turned out that they all knew Hebrew. Every person to whom I tried to somehow explain something, when [another] soldier would come over and concretely threaten him somehow, stand close to him or whatever, or cock his weapon at him or something like that – suddenly they spoke amazing Hebrew. And that is, you know, it's all defense mechanisms, it's obvious. Why would he hide the fact that he knows Hebrew unless he wanted to give fewer answers and leave as quickly as possible? It's bad being the frightening one, the one they're afraid of. In general, seeing the people on the streets. Seeing an old women crawl to me on all four just to say: "I know there's a curfew, that's why I'm not walking, but I have to go there, my kid is just here at the neighbor's, and I have to bring him home." And she comes back with a baby. She says to me: "Should I crawl on my knees?" I say to her: of course not, get up, go. A second later a soldier cocks his weapon at her just because she's passing by his post, and she gets back on her knees so he won't… "I'm just getting my baby, I'm just…" Like that. I say: why should she have to explain anything to me at all? She's walking in her neighborhood. It's her neighborhood, and she has to explain to me that she's just going to bring her baby. That's bad.

Did you also feel bad at the time? I felt bad, sure. In these situations, when suddenly a woman crawls on her knees, when a father suddenly gets slapped, when suddenly they want to piss off the son, so they slap his father.